Whole 30: Week 2.5! (And a crazy good egg salad)

Whole 30 egg salad is the best lunch. #whole30 #meandthemoose #eggsalad

This week we experience food fatigue, weight loss rage, and some of the magical effects that other Whole 30-ers have described.

First, let's talk about the weight loss rage. My husband is also doing Whole 30 and if one more person points out to US how much weight HE has lost after WE describe doing this plan TOGETHER, well, it won't be pretty. I feel fantastic and wish that that was enough, but people, tell my husband in private how great he looks. Or lie and say we've both lost weight. You're not my doctor and we don't live in some horrible hellscape where you can tell my actual weight by looking at me, so LIE TO ME OR SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY. See? Rage.

On a happier note, I have noticed some nice benefits. I feel a lot cleaner and lighter, am sleeping better, and feel less achy when I wake up. Unfortunately, we're raising a child-sized J.J. Watt, so I don't think the aches and pains will fully abate until he learns to walk (I'm begging you, kid: Learn to walk. Though people have told me to enjoy the late walking because up next is the phase where he wobbles directly into a piece of furniture). I also feel more energetic and am able to exercise at night. Before Whole 30, evening was a battle of wine vs. spin bike... and wine ALWAYS won. ALSO, not for nothing, we waste a lot less food these days. Pre-Whole 30, we grocery shopped like we'd be cooking every night, but then ordered in whenever the going got tough. So we spent a lot on takeout AND on food that went bad. Not so anymore.

And finally, food fatigue. The Whole 30 people warned that it would happen on Day 21, but for me, it was day 16. Oops. Anyway, I woke up that morning feeling nauseous at the thought of eating another sweet potato. A few things got me through including this flavor-bomb egg salad and a duo of sauces that I'll post later.

Flavor Bomb Egg Salad

Tessemae's Chesepeake Mayo, Trader Joe's pickles, and eggs. Yum. #whole30 #eggsalad #meandthemoose

There are a few more "processed" ingredients than I would like in this recipe, but when the food fatigue set in, it was time to be nice to myself. One could probably make the mayo at home with egg yolks, Whole 30-approved oil, Whole 30 approved-Dijon mustard, and Old Bay seasonings, but we bought this guy in a 4-pack with the Tessemae's ketchup and mustard and they are all great. Full disclosure, we also tried the Caesar dressing and it was awful, but I made my own Caesar that is possibly the best dressing I've ever made, Whole 30 or not. Recipe to come later.

4 hard boiled eggs
2 Tbsp Tessemae's Chesapeake Mayo
2 Dill pickle spears

Hard boil the eggs. I use Martha Stewart's method: Place the eggs in a pan and completely cover with cool water. Bring to a rolling boil over medium heat. Turn off the heat, cover, and let sit for 12 minutes. I always forget about the eggs at this stage and they're always fine. If you're paying attention, drain the eggs after 12 minutes and place under cold running water. I usually drain the water, but leave the eggs in the original pan and add cold water and a few ice cubes. Again, I generally forget about the eggs here too. I wouldn't advise leaving them out for too too long, but I haven't given anyone salmonella yet. Also, Martha says that you can peel and eat the eggs right away, but I like to let them fully cool and peel them cold. I always think the shell comes off more cleanly that way.

Chop the eggs and pickles and combine with mayo. I added a touch more mustard (maybe a tsp) and some salt and pepper, but taste before adding anything. The mayo is very flavorful and depending on your brand of pickles, you may not need salt. But I was in a food rut and wanted something INTENSE.

Whole 30: Day 1!

I've never felt comfortable with my body. I'm a human woman after all. But really, I've struggled with my weight and body image for as long as I've had a weight and a body image. As an adult, that struggle has shifted from one of vanity to being mainly about health concerns (with a leftover sprinkling of vanity). 

But when we decided to try and have a baby, the struggle with my body and weight took on a new meaning. I went through 14 months of infertility, which was often pretty rough. I ate my feelings and I had A LOT of feelings. I cycled between frustration with my barren womb (DRAMA!), and hope that next month would be the month! And who's going to diet when ANY DAY they could be embarking on 10 months of state-sanctioned weight gain?

When M finally set up shop in my belly, I added some baby weight to my no-baby weight and here we are. So, I've decided to do Whole30. For those who don't know what that means, Whole 30 is an eating plan wherein you try to achieve a nutritional reset by eliminating for 30 days everything that could possibly make you feel bad (specifically, alcohol, dairy, wheat, legumes, soy, corn, all added sugar including honey, maple syrup, and the artificial varieties, as well as joy and happiness. KIDDING). Then, you add things back individually to determine what, exactly, makes you feel terrible. It's not a weight loss plan, but most people do lose some weight. I'm simultaneously pumped about changing my relationship to food and terrified that I'll fall off the wagon. I'm hoping that writing about it will help keep me honest. Here goes!

Day 1: So far, so good. I was expecting headaches, hanger, and hatred toward all carb and cheese eaters, but the reality hasn't been terrible. I definitely had a bit of a headache this afternoon and felt sort of wonky, for lack of a better description. But I was surprised at how tasty I found my meals. I read somewhere that the French have an expression, "Hunger is the best sauce." It's possible that a more 1% phrase has never been uttered. Bleh. But for today, eating actual meals rather than grazing all day because my blood sugar is spiking and crashing, has been successful.

What I ate:                                                                                                                                                              Breakfast: Two eggs scrambled with spinach, onions, and tomatoes, a chicken apple sausage, and coffee with almond milk.   
Lunch: Tuna with avocado oil mayo, baby carrots, a hard-boiled egg, and an apple.  
Snack: Bison jerky and a handful of almonds.                                                                                                     Dinner: Zucchini noodles with tomato sauce (replace the butter with ghee), a bison burger, and broccoli roasted with olive oil.  

What I learned:
My fridge will smell like rotten eggs for the next 30 days.
I lick my fingers more than a normal person should. Seriously, while prepping M's food (we're not making him do Whole 30), I had to stop myself multiple times from snacking on cheese, quinoa, and bread residue. There was an incident with some peanut butter, but I'm moving on.