I've never felt comfortable with my body. I'm a human woman after all. But really, I've struggled with my weight and body image for as long as I've had a weight and a body image. As an adult, that struggle has shifted from one of vanity to being mainly about health concerns (with a leftover sprinkling of vanity).
But when we decided to try and have a baby, the struggle with my body and weight took on a new meaning. I went through 14 months of infertility, which was often pretty rough. I ate my feelings and I had A LOT of feelings. I cycled between frustration with my barren womb (DRAMA!), and hope that next month would be the month! And who's going to diet when ANY DAY they could be embarking on 10 months of state-sanctioned weight gain?
When M finally set up shop in my belly, I added some baby weight to my no-baby weight and here we are. So, I've decided to do Whole30. For those who don't know what that means, Whole 30 is an eating plan wherein you try to achieve a nutritional reset by eliminating for 30 days everything that could possibly make you feel bad (specifically, alcohol, dairy, wheat, legumes, soy, corn, all added sugar including honey, maple syrup, and the artificial varieties, as well as joy and happiness. KIDDING). Then, you add things back individually to determine what, exactly, makes you feel terrible. It's not a weight loss plan, but most people do lose some weight. I'm simultaneously pumped about changing my relationship to food and terrified that I'll fall off the wagon. I'm hoping that writing about it will help keep me honest. Here goes!
Day 1: So far, so good. I was expecting headaches, hanger, and hatred toward all carb and cheese eaters, but the reality hasn't been terrible. I definitely had a bit of a headache this afternoon and felt sort of wonky, for lack of a better description. But I was surprised at how tasty I found my meals. I read somewhere that the French have an expression, "Hunger is the best sauce." It's possible that a more 1% phrase has never been uttered. Bleh. But for today, eating actual meals rather than grazing all day because my blood sugar is spiking and crashing, has been successful.
What I ate: Breakfast: Two eggs scrambled with spinach, onions, and tomatoes, a chicken apple sausage, and coffee with almond milk.
Lunch: Tuna with avocado oil mayo, baby carrots, a hard-boiled egg, and an apple.
Snack: Bison jerky and a handful of almonds. Dinner: Zucchini noodles with tomato sauce (replace the butter with ghee), a bison burger, and broccoli roasted with olive oil.
What I learned:
My fridge will smell like rotten eggs for the next 30 days.
I lick my fingers more than a normal person should. Seriously, while prepping M's food (we're not making him do Whole 30), I had to stop myself multiple times from snacking on cheese, quinoa, and bread residue. There was an incident with some peanut butter, but I'm moving on.